A friend recently told me, about drinking: “Just don’t think about it so much.” Easy to say. But, to be fair, while I can’t help thinking about it, nobody forced me to create a Web site about it. Maybe I do think about it too much.

At a Smart Recovery meeting, someone once mentioned some advice they’d picked up from a 12-step group or a therapist. The advice was to wake up each morning and tell yourself, “The most important thing for me to do today is to stay sober. That’s my number-one goal.” After some consideration, the group rejected this wholeheartedly. The general consensus was that sobriety wasn’t anyone’s number-one goal, but rather a portion of or a stepping-stone to a larger goal, something along the lines of “a happy life.” I agree with that.

I’m thinking about thinking too much because of a resurgence in guilty drinking dreams. Maybe I am bringing them on. In the one I had last night, my friend was upset with me because I’d lost her ATM card and was in some kind of unspecified trouble with the law. The room was a mess. I woke up feeling crappy about it. It’s raining today. The bus I’m riding on leaks and my paper is wet. That’s Wednesday for you.

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