Now that it�s been eight months, I�ve told most of my friends that I�ve quit drinking. Almost everybody has responded in one of two ways. The following is the most popular response.

Clean: I�ve quit drinking.

Friend: What about everything else?

This means, �You�re still doing drugs, right?� At first I thought the prevalence of this response was hilarious, like, keep the dream alive! Then it got tiring, because it meant people were really missing the big picture, and I�d have to go into detail. While I wouldn�t say I�ve officially quit doing all drugs, I know doing drugs will make me want to drink so I�m not doing drugs. Drugs were always a side project for me anyway. Some people might find that hard to believe, but it's true.

The second most popular response is this.

Clean: I�ve quit drinking.

Friend: What happened?

I always say, �Nothing.� Of course, the truth is that hundreds of things happened that would cause most people to run screaming from alcohol for the rest of their lives. Me, I just got back on that horse and rode.

There is one response I have not gotten, but I would like to get.

Clean: I�ve quit drinking.

Friend: Why?

It seems nobody really needs it spelled out for them.

If someone does ask me why, I�ve got my answer all planned. I�ll look my bewildered friend in the eye, and say, �Well, I doubt you ever noticed, because I hid it really well, but I used to sometimes drink a little too much.� Then we'll laugh our asses off.

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