�Hi, I�m responding to your ad about a room for rent in a group house. You asked me to tell you a little about myself. I�m a 28-year-old woman with a steady job, and I�ve lived in the city for five years. I enjoy reading, running, and cooking. I go to bed early (9:00 p.m.) and get up early (5:00 a.m.). Please let me know if you have any other questions.�

I�ve been toying with the idea of moving. I�d like to live somewhere quieter, to pay less rent, and to be less of a hermit. The problem is, well, see above. Who is that person? Would you want to live with that person? My life on the surface sounds so drab -- I can�t possibly be that boring. I need a way to signal my underlying coolness. Perhaps a postscript would do the trick.

�P.S. Please note I have partied like a has-been rock star in Las Vegas, South Beach, and Rhode Island.�

�P.S. The Red Cross is totally not interested in my blood.�

�P.S. I almost met Boy George at a club in London but I was literally too drunk to stand up and walk over to him.�

Expressing my coolness via e-mail is only part of the problem. I want to make new friends, and I need to express my coolness to them, too. At some early point in these (currently only imagined) friendships I will have to say �I don�t drink,� or maybe �I don�t drink, anymore.� How can I temper that so the kind of people I want to meet don�t write me off as an uptight, self-righteous snot? I could follow it up with a few drinking anecdotes from back in the day, but that�s not my life anymore. I can no longer claim the self-abuse props. Tired Boy George anecdotes (OK, it�s not even an anecdote) won�t do the trick.

As usual, this is a symptom of a bigger problem. I�ve made some progress since my first entry, but I still think drinking is cool and sobriety is not. I used to be cool, at least somewhat, and now I�m not.

I see two ways to approach this. The first is to redefine coolness in my own mind, and to make it include parts of my new life. This doesn�t sound too promising to me. Stuff like exercise and volunteer work is positive and beneficial, but it�ll never be cool. That�s just the sad truth.

The second option is to (gulp) give up on cool altogether. I�m so not ready for this. So, I�ve got some cool hats. I�ll just wear my cool hats and not talk to anybody until I�ve come up with a better plan.

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