C l e a n

Not drinking.
Introduction // Sunday, July 28, 2002

Drinking is cool. I still think so. Maybe I need to get over that, or work on changing my opinion, but it seems hopeless. Cocktails are cool, and I don�t drink anymore. Where does that leave me?

Over a year ago, when I decided I needed to lose some weight, I found some awesome Web sites on the subject. I found savvy, funny women about my age like Poundy and Rock Fox who took a naturally uncool, unhip topic -- being fat and trying to lose weight -- and made it fun and cool and something to be proud of. I lost 40 pounds and I still read both logs and am excited when they post new entries.

Earlier this year I decided to stop drinking. I turned to the Web right away. I found organization-based sites, like Smart Recovery, that pointed me towards meetings and ways of thinking about sobriety. But where were the personal logs, the other young, cool, funny people who had hit the wall on partying? Who weren�t interested in preaching abstinence or becoming a AA lifers but had come to realize that their drinking had caused their lives to stall out in a dirty, empty place (i.e, my apartment)?

I couldn�t find them and the reason seemed clear. They didn�t exist. That is, I was kidding myself about the possibility of retaining any shred of coolness while courting (possibly) permanent sobriety.

(What is coolness, exactly, and why do I need it so badly? I�m 28 and seeing the happy insouciance of my younger, fucked-up days fading behind me. More on that later.)

I�d like for Clean to be an inspiration for me and for other people in a similar place. My dream for Clean is to take one of the lamest topics ever -- drinking problems and sobriety -- and make it cool. It�s a big job.

I�m a 28-year-old woman and I�ve stopped drinking. It�s going OK.

prev // next

recently:
Visitation - Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004
Tired of This - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004
Watershed - Thursday, Apr. 29, 2004
First Date - Friday, Apr. 23, 2004
Online Dating - Sunday, Mar. 28, 2004