C l e a n

Not drinking.
Social Liberation // Wednesday, Oct. 30, 2002

Last weekend, I attended two days of volunteer training for the local needle exchange program. I have volunteered with the program for about a year and a half. This training was on harm reduction, and one portion dealt with the stages of change an individual passes through as they decide to decrease the levels of harmful behavior in their lives. According to our trainer, one indicator of impending behavioral change is �social liberation.� On the handout, social liberation is defined as �Awareness, availability, and acceptance by the individual of alternative, problem-free lifestyles in society.� The trainer is an HIV counselor in a poor black neighborhood. Pretending to be one of her own clients, she explained the social liberation conundrum in terms of hos.

�I�ve always been a ho. All my friends are hos. I�m proud of being a ho. Life outside of being a ho is boring and square. I don�t wanna not be a ho.�

Replace �ho� with �drunk� (yes, replace it, don�t just add �drunk� in front of �ho�) and there�s my biggest problem. According to the stages of change model, social liberation is supposed to happen in the �precontemplation� stage, before any actual change has been made. I am seriously behind the curve.

When I was in precontemplation, I couldn�t even conceive of social liberation. Now, although I�m supposed to be in the �maintenance� stage, I still don�t feel socially liberated. I�m not convinced there are people out there living sober lifestyles and having as much fun as I used to have. I mean, it�s just not possible. I haven�t succeeded in surrounding myself with like-minded sober people, although I�ve met some via e-mail as a result of doing this site. I�ve found �self-liberation,� I think, but social liberation is a bitch.

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recently:
Visitation - Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004
Tired of This - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004
Watershed - Thursday, Apr. 29, 2004
First Date - Friday, Apr. 23, 2004
Online Dating - Sunday, Mar. 28, 2004