The other day I was at the gym lifting weights. I was in the middle of a set when a guy walked up and said something to me. I smiled and rolled my eyes to convey I was not in a position to chitty-chat. After he walked away, I thought about what he�d said and grew annoyed. He�d said, �Gee, you look so SERIOUS!� He said it half-jokingly, but half-accusingly, as if he and the others at the gym had gotten together and decided my seriousness was really bringing them down.

It took me about a day to figure out what exactly pissed me off so much about his comment. His problem wasn�t just that I looked serious, but that I was a woman and looked serious. I mean, he wouldn�t have gone up to a man in the weight room and commented on his seriousness. For a man, lifting weights IS serious. But as a woman, my being serious about my weight routine violated some social contract in his mind that said I was supposed to giggle and not know how to use the equipment and ask men like himself for assistance while bending over a lot in tight pants.

I�m sensitive to accusations of seriousness because they have dogged me since childhood. It�s because of the way my face hangs, I think. If I�m not concentrating on looking cheery, my face naturally goes the other way. This must have been particularly disarming when I was a child. Supermarket checkout ladies were forever telling me to smile because it wasn�t the end of the world.

I was serious about drinking, too. I tried to play it like I was a carefree party girl, but if it looked like the drinks were running out you�d see me get serious pretty fast.

I�m concerned that my inborn seriousness is now mixing with my new sobriety to create a killer cocktail of personality flaws. It�s hard not to feel like I�m a walking buzzkill. I�m even depressing strangers at the gym.

I�m serious. But that doesn�t mean that I�m humorless or joyless. I�d like to think it means that I can recognize what�s important and deal with it appropriately. And I still know how to have a good time. I watch that crazy home and garden channel.

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