I think I�m on the make. I�ve noticed that I�ve evaluating guys on the street for� well, I�ll call it what it is: fuckability. Walking to the train station every day, I have an entertaining internal monologue. �No� hell no� hell yes� if he got a haircut I�d totally hit it.�

I haven�t had any interest in what I�ll call romance for a long time, so I suppose it�s a sign of emotional progress that I�m thinking about it now. But to be honest, the whole idea of getting to know someone in a romantic context seems so overwhelming that I�m ready to give up before I start. I doubt there�s such a thing as a sober one-night stand, but even if there is, that�s not what I want. But how do you get from talking with someone to pawing at each other without alcohol? I�m asking because I seriously don�t know.

I suppose I have to cross this bridge sometime, because it�s a bridge that leads back to having a real life with all the frills. But for now, the idea of being cloistered kind of appeals to me.

In this great article from �The Stranger,� Seattle�s weekly paper, Kathleen Wilson talks about her first few months of sobriety: �I had sober sex for the first time in my life sometime during those first three months. I remember I was terrified and I remember it was just like high school and I remember it felt really, really good.�

It�s something to look forward to.

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