C l e a n

Not drinking.
Engagement // Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003

I�m really doing fall this year. I went on a hike and I went apple-picking on a farm. I�ve run through the park and ogled the leaves. I made homemade applesauce and pumpkin stew. I had trick-or-treaters for the first time! I�m planning on doing winter, too. I bought a new coat, and I signed up for a cross-country skiing lesson.

I never really noticed seasons much before. I mean, I slogged though the snow and complained about it like everyone else. And I got spring fever like everyone else, mostly in anticipation of warm-weather patio-drinking opportunities. But I never really dug in to a season, prised out its special treats, and thought about change and cycles and time passing, all the heavy fruit baked into autumn.

I complain a lot here about how much I�ve lost in sobriety. But this seasonal awareness is a great example of something I�ve gained, a reward for my work. And it�s part of a bigger good thing, a bigger reward: engagement. To be engaged in my own life, cognizant of its seasons, active in the everyday, awake and aware--this is it. Maybe I�m finally getting to the good part.

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recently:
Visitation - Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004
Tired of This - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004
Watershed - Thursday, Apr. 29, 2004
First Date - Friday, Apr. 23, 2004
Online Dating - Sunday, Mar. 28, 2004