I like to read. While I was drinking I still read a lot, but I read the same books over and over. I rarely bought or borrowed anything new. I found my old books comforting, and since I often read at night in bed while drunk, it was handy to already know the story.

Perhaps my most favorite drunken reading was “Post Office” by Charles Bukowski. It’s about the author’s halfhearted attempts to keep his crappy job at the post office while also being a full-time hardcore drunk. I used to read this book probably once a month. I’d call in sick, crawl to the bodega for a couple of six-packs, and cuddle up in bed with “Post Office.” It always cheered me up.

I also used to totally love the TV show “Cops.” I mean I loved it. I’d stock up on drugs and alcohol and sit entranced in front of “Cops” on Saturday evenings. I drove my friends crazy with ridiculous pseudo-Marxist analysis of the shit going down on “Cops.” My favorites were the one where the woman called the cops because her mother wouldn’t stop preaching, and the one where the guy had been shot in the stomach at some earlier point and his friend sewed the guy’s thumb into the hole to plug it up. Dude.

Well, it seems my tastes have changed. I was flipping channels the other day and came upon “Cops.” I winced and changed it. How could I have watched that shit? It’s so sick and sad -- poor people’s lives getting shittier by the second. Same with Bukowski; it’s depressing and he’s an asshole.

Maybe my tastes are just naturally maturing, or I’ve lost my sense of humor. But it’s probably more that I no longer need to bombard myself with images of people more fucked up than me to feel like I’ve got any kind of a grasp on my own life. I even had at least one boyfriend who I (subconsciously) chose to serve as my fucked-up foil and make me look like I had my shit together in comparison. It worked for a while, then he stole my credit cards. I kicked him out on his ass, a few months later.

This is not to say I’m now reading Proust and watching “The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer” every night. But my reading has taken off. I’m all about new books, fiction and nonfiction, new translations. I’m excited about it. As for TV, I’ve already mentioned my devotion to the home and garden channel. “Extreme Homes,” now that’s some crazy shit.

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