I finally got to give blood. It was everything I had hoped it would be.

I first became interested in giving blood shortly after I stopped drinking and doing drugs. Being a blood donor fit right in with my desire to repay my little debt to society and become an all-around good citizen. Feeling all kinds of virtuous and shit, I scanned the Red Cross Web site and quickly realized that they wanted nothing to do with my dirty dirty blood.

I�d flaunted their rules on several levels. Sex with an I.V.-drug user is frowned upon, but I�d had multiple HIV tests and a liver work-up since breaking up with him. The bigger obstacle was that you can�t give blood if you�ve snorted anything up your nose in the past 12 months.

The nose rule is based on the theory -- and as far as I know, it�s still just a theory -- that because the tissue inside the nose is prone to small cuts and tears, infected blood can be passed from one person to another on shared straws or other paraphernalia. So for the purposes of protecting yourself from HIV and hepatitis, you should think of your nose as a vagina. Or an anus. Your choice.

Anyway, I waited out my 12-month statue of limitations (I don't know why, in retrospect, since I knew I was okay) and decided to celebrate my one-year sobriety anniversary by giving blood. I actually got an appointment on that very day and went, only to find that my iron levels weren�t high enough to donate.

So I made another appointment, and this time I passed the test -- all the tests, and there are lots. I understand that the Red Cross has a responsibility to protect the national blood supply and that they don�t have time to fuck around with people being coy about their risk levels. Still, I feel like some of the language used in their screening process is a little harsh.

For example, at the end of the process, I was left alone in a room with a piece of paper bearing two stickers. This is their last-ditch effort to persuade people who are lying about their risky behaviors to come clean. The stickers themselves are both bar codes and indistinguishable to the eye, but they are labelled on the surrounding paper. I was instructed to peel off both the stickers. One goes on my form; the other moves to another space on the sticker paper, which is then thrown out. Get it? It�s complicated. Anyway, one of the stickers is labelled something like, �As far as I know, my blood is safe to use.� That�s the one I put on my form. But the other sticker is labelled �I have done something that may make my blood unsafe.� Wow. �I have done something�!? That seems a little unnecessary. The sticker could just as easily be labelled �My blood may be unsafe,� without the added aspects of confession, judgment, and blame.

For one thing, while most people do get HIV and hepatitis by having �done something,� there are certainly those notable few who have had �something� done TO them. And for Pete�s sake, there�s the far larger group who have exposed themselves to HIV and hepatitis by having �done something� that seemed like a fine idea at the time. I don�t see the point of forcing someone who's probably already freaking out to say they have �done something.� We�ve all done something.

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